Well, it has been a few months since I have written about the joys of potty training a little boy. I’m back with an update on our progress – THERE HASN’T BEEN ANY. I personally think it is his mission to postpone this milestone as long as possible just to see how long I will be willing to wipe his smeared poo-butt (the result of breakdancing on the floor after hiding in the corner to do his business in his diaper) or pick up the pieces of poo that fall out of his diaper/clean the floor (also the result of breakdancing and then running away from me when finished with his corner business).
I even broke down and went to the library specifically for books about the potty since the dvds have done squat (I even checked out a few books directing me how to coach him, even though I have been through this 2 times before and I’m fairly certain I have already read everything there is to know, none of which is helpful).
We found 3 picture books with different stories: one about a defiant princess (whose attitude seemed vaguely familiar to my little guy) that didn’t like her potty; one about a pirate who crossed the sea to get to his potty, pirate underwear and all; and a Little Critter book about getting a new potty. Here’s how those books went over:
*Me – The princess didn’t want to use her potty. That’s probably because she didn’t have a cool Cars potty like you do (I make the books say what I want them to say when my big kids aren’t around to correct me). Don’t you think she would like to use your Cars party? Vroom, vroom!
*Big Trouble – Ooh toys! (Of all of the pictures on the page, he bypasses the potty and notices that the princess is playing with toys).
*Me – Yes, she has toys, but she would rather have a Cars potty. Let’s see if she gets one on the next page when all of the townspeople bring her new potties! Ooh, she got a potty with polka dots! And one that glows in the dark! That would be fun to use!
*Big Trouble – Ooh stairs! (someone was climbing stairs to hand over a potty).
*Me – Yep, there’s the stairs, but look at how she got new underwear so that she could use the big girl potty! You have some new underwear that you can wear when you use the big boy potty!
*Big Trouble – Princess went pee-pee and poo-poo. (WAIT, WHAT?!)
*Me – THAT’S RIGHT! (yes, I screamed it because I was so shocked that he finally tuned in) Don’t you want to go pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty?
*Big Trouble – ooh, cookies.
And, that’s how that book went.
*Me – Look, here’s a big boy pirate who wants to find the potty. Do you see the potty?
*Big Trouble – ooh, pirate! yeah!
*Me – There’s his potty! See how the pirate uses the potty? He doesn’t like diapers.
*Big Trouble – ooh, bird. (FOCUS KID!)
*Me – yep, pirates who use the potty get a bird. (wait, did I just kind of try to bribe him with a bird? oops) And here’s his cool hat that he wears on the potty. We have a pirate hat you can wear on the potty if you want to.
*Big Trouble – ooh, mouse. (oh well, at least he didn’t catch my accidental bird bribery).
*Me – yep, that’s a mouse. But look here at this fun pirate potty! The pirate uses his potty like a big boy! You can be a big boy like the pirate if you go to the potty and not in your diaper.
*Big Trouble – oh no, he cry. baby cry.
*Me – no, he’s laughing, not crying. He’s happy he is a big boy using the potty.
*Big Trouble – oh no, he cry.
*Me – no, honey, he’s not sad, he’s happy! Potties are fun!
*Big Trouble – Buzz! Rex-y! Woody! Bullseye! (He was no longer concerned with the crying pirate as he had already moved on to a Toy Story book that was on the floor next to us)
Me – Hold on sweetie, Little Critter is going to get a new potty in this book! That’s more fun than Toy Story!
Big Trouble – I say NO! (he got off my lap and ran off to find his farm animals).
So, as you can see, great strides in the art of potty training are being made here at our house. Sigh.