Finally Sitting Still (But Not Until After We Wrestled In Public)

It’s no secret that my 2-year-old is quite a handful; there is a reason that I refer to him as Big Trouble.  Most of my blogs these days end up being about crazy adventures that I have had with him (and this one will be no exception), but the last few days or so, I have noticed a change in him that I hope is a sign of great things to come.

So, before I tell you another highly entertaining story (at least for those of you that didn’t have to live through it), I must first tell you that not only did my husband and I get to go out to lunch with him for the first time in a year this weekend (MIRACLE OF MIRACLES), he also went to the park and to get ice cream one on one with me and he was calm and marvelous!  Who knew he had it in him?!  Let’s pray it continues instead of me having more moments like the following (which occurred just last week):

My little guy had been complaining of his chin hurting (well he was pointing to his chin and saying “hurts” so I assumed that’s what it was) and he had a slight fever for a few days.  It never got really high, just slightly higher than normal, but then he just wanted to be snuggled for several hours and he wouldn’t get off of the couch.  Something was definitely wrong because you usually cannot get him to sit down for 2 seconds.  So, after a weekend of sitting still (which actually made me miss his usual craziness, if you can believe that), I made an appointment with our pediatrician to get him checked out, thinking maybe it was an ear infection.

Of course the minute we walked into the office, he was back to his usual self with no sign of sickness to be found.  Somehow it always works that way for me.  But, we were there and I decided better to be safe than sorry.  Good thing because it turned out that he had strep and had been trying to point to his throat but mistakenly pointed to his chin.  Lovely!  The pediatrician said to get him on antibiotics immediately before it spread to the rest of the family (he knows how much we like to share germs with each other).

Seeing as though the medicine he prescribed was free at our local grocery store (and we needed a few grocery items anyway), I decided to take the prescription there instead of going to our usual drive-thru pharmacy.  This turned out to be a mistake of epic proportion.  I stepped up to the drop-off counter and handed the prescription to the pharmacist who told me it would be about 15 minutes.  Not too bad, I thought to myself.  We’ll just go and pick up what we need and pay for them and then walk back over to the pharmacy on our way out (at this point I had convinced Big Trouble to sit in the cart).

About 10 seconds down the first aisle, he demanded to walk and began screaming the word, “walk” as though he had absolutely no pain in his throat at all.  Fine, fine, just HUSH and hold my hand. One hand now holding his and the other pushing the ridiculous cart with the steering wheel, we walked around the store looking for the few things we needed at home.  Then we got to the medicine aisle where I wanted to pick up some more Tylenol.  I started combing the shelf for the infant kind because the dropper is so much easier to deal with in the middle of the night, while Big Trouble let go of my hand.  He didn’t go far, so I let him wander back and forth a little while I found the right box of medicine.  I called for him to come back and as he turned around, I noticed that he was thoughtfully bringing me some Beano and a bottle of Immodium from his section.   An old man walking by started laughing as B.T. placed the items he had chosen in our cart.  Fantastic.  Now everyone at the store must think I have some kind of serious digestive issues when even my 2-year-old has the courtesy to pick up these products for me.  I have got to get out of here before he finds condoms or Monistat!   Back to the shelf those products quickly went (I apologize to the stockers who will find these products located by the Motrin – I was too embarrassed to look for the correct spot).

We made our way to the checkout line and paid for our products without so much as an incident (which is kind of a miracle since he was still not in the cart).  Then we headed back to the pharmacy.  I glanced at my phone and saw that we had spent about 13 minutes so I was prepared to wait another minute or two but surely the pharmacist saw that I had a crazy baby with me and would have put a rush on this very common drug that they have plenty of.  No such luck.

We stepped up to the pick up counter and the assistant told me that they were just now mixing up the antibiotics.  Lovely.  I tried to get B.T. to sit in one of the chairs and wait patiently with me, but I think you all know how well that went over.  He couldn’t be bothered with the chairs when there was a display of decorative canes nearby.  He kept calling them bats and trying to take them out of the stand so that he could play baseball.  There were screeches involved as I pulled him away repeatedly, begging for him to notice the chairs (again, the screams of an annoying toddler usually hurries people up just to get rid of them but I assume the pharmacist was slightly deaf because he was still going as slow as molasses).



Then he spotted IT; a rogue mylar balloon that someone had left in a corner.  He had to have it so off he ran to grab it.  At this point, I was annoyed by the ‘way past 15 minutes’ it had taken to fill this prescription so I broke down and just let him beat up that poor balloon (I generally discourage this kind of behavior, but I was exhausted; at least I didn’t let him do it with one of the canes).  He had fun with this for another 5 minutes before he finally noticed the chairs and took the opportunity to try to use them as hurdles WITH THE BALLOON STILL IN TOW, practically strangling himself.  Finally, nearly 30 minutes later, the prescription was ready.  I signed the form and grabbed the medicine while giving the pharmacist the evil eye (the guy was on the phone laughing so he totally deserved it – plus it was much better than the scenario in my head where I grabbed a cane and poked him in the eye).

It was finally time to get the heck out of there, but Big Trouble still had the balloon and I had no intention of waiting in yet another line to buy the $4 punching bag.  So, I tried to take it away.  Um, yeah, he wasn’t going to let that thing go without a fight.  He had a kung fu grip on that flimsy string and I was trying desperately not to break it.  Then he had the grand idea of running in circles around me so that I couldn’t get it.  As I tried to catch him, we both got caught up in the string and tumbled to the ground, a la a bad fight on girls gone wild.  So, there I was, literally caught in a balloon string wrestling match on the floor of the grocery store.  Nevermind the fact that it’s disgusting to be on a public floor, I couldn’t get up until I figured out how to unravel us from the string.  People at the bakery were staring; people walking by were staring; people checking out were staring; that *#&%#*^% pharmacist was staring.  It was fantastic.

approximation of how it went down (minus the spandex)

approximation of how it went down (minus the spandex)

Meanwhile, Big Trouble thought I had planned this fun on purpose so he was laughing hysterically.  I finally managed to get us out of the death trap and I punched the balloon directly at the face of the pharmacist (sadly, the helium didn’t let it travel far enough to do any damage).  I picked up B.T. and our grocery items and hobbled out of the store, shaken and filthy, but with my head held high because I had won the battle of the balloon.

Needless to say, it was not one of my finer moments of motherhood and I am lucky that I had kids before I was older and got osteoporosis because I really could have broken a hip.  However, the next few days went by without incident and (as previously mentioned) when the weekend finally rolled around, we got to go out to eat for the first time in a year and he sat there like an angelic child.  I also was able to take him for ice cream while the big kids had a fun day with daddy and he didn’t even make a huge mess (nor did he try to Superman off of the highest point of the playground when we went to play = success)!

I guess the lesson I need to take from this is, for the love of God, “NO BALLOONS”, give him food, and no more using that pharmacy, even if it is free.  I am hoping that his recent calm behavior will continue because God feels as though I have been embarrassed enough for this year.  I must tell you, it is so much nicer sharing a brownie sundae with Mr. Trouble than rolling around on the floor of the grocery store, bless his heart.

My sweet boy sharing a treat with me AT A PUBLIC VENUE!

My sweet boy sharing a treat with me AT A PUBLIC VENUE!


11 thoughts on “Finally Sitting Still (But Not Until After We Wrestled In Public)

  1. You totally should have hit the balloon towards the pharmacist with one of the decorative canes! Or, better yet, “accidentally” dropped B.T. over the counter so that he could run around the pharmacy section and “help” the pharmacist. Hehe (I’m allowing myself to laugh now, because I can just feel that it’s going to me my turn in a couple of years).
    Also, it’s FANTASTIC that you were able to spend some quality time with your little one in a public place without a meltdown. Crossing my fingers so that it is indeed a sign of things to come.

  2. Awh – quite the story! There ARE so many distractions the grocery store for kids – balloons, small toys hanging in almost every aisle, not to mention cookies / food!! Hang in there – my 3.5 year old is quite good in public now, and I hope my 19 month old doesn’t go too crazy of a 2 – 3 year old phase. We’ll have to wait and see!

  3. Holy Cow Courtney!! This is absolutely hilarious!! (I’m sorry) I was giggling at the beano addition, the decorative cane display and of course the mental picture of you rolling around on the floor!! This needs to be sent to all high school sex ed classes stat!!!

    • I’m telling you, I’m fairly certain I have provided at least some temporary birth control to many teenagers and college students around town, especially when I have all three with me! I have actually heard one cashier say, “I’m never having kids” after an interaction with my crew. (not sure that’s something to brag about?) 🙂

  4. So glad you took him to the doctor and discovered the strep! So, none of you got it, then? 🙂 Wow, that grocery store story could have totally been Joshua back when he was two…or three…or four. 🙄

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