I was in love with this Clorox commercial from the first moment I saw it. It’s totally disgusting, but also totally something that I could see happening at my house.
Guess what? A slightly less nasty version of this finally did happen here a few days ago. (And by using the word “finally”, I am not in any way saying that I was looking forward to this moment, I am merely admitting that I pretty much knew it was coming and, sure enough, it did.) No, I did not document this catastrophe with pictures (count yourself blessed) but I will relive the moment now for your reading pleasure.
I recently started attempting to potty train my 22-month-old; nothing hardcore yet because he appears to be more interested in taking apart his new potty seat than actually using it, but we’re introducing it and trying to get him to really understand the concept. His big brother recently demonstrated how to properly “aim” into the potty since he didn’t seem to be responding to the girlier method of sitting while peeing (and I obviously didn’t have the parts to show him an alternate route). He seemed to take it all in.
Then, a few days ago, he randomly stripped off his diaper, came up to me and said, “I go potty?” in the form of a question, which is unlike the, “I go potty!” exclamation that occurs every time he enters the bathroom as if the act of walking into the same room as the toilet constitutes actually going. So, naturally, I was thrilled to help him out! I quickly ran into the bathroom to retrieve his new Cars potty and attempted to bring it out to him. Apparently, the 10 seconds this took was 9 seconds too long because as I sprinted out of the bathroom with the mini toilet, I saw him purposefully aim his boy parts toward a tiny folding chair that belongs to his brother and just let go.
I let out the dramatic slow-motion “NOOOOOOOOOOO” as he turned to give me a confused look. Seriously? The kid has been obsessed with the toilet for months but he chose to decide that the chair would be a more suitable place to begin the journey toward effective peeing techniques?! He stood there staring at me, then he smiled and gave his usual, “I go potty!” cheer and waited for me to praise him. Meanwhile, I’m standing frozen, toilet still in hand, trying to decide the best way to start cleaning the mess while being able to get him out of the way without spreading the bodily fluids over more territory.
As if anticipating my next impulse, he suddenly took off, pee feet and all and headed toward the bathroom. Great. Now he figures out where he should have been all along. I ran to grab a towel to place over the chair and floor until I could clean off my little guy and get some pants back on him and when I returned, I notice that he had now confiscated 3 toothbrushes from their holders on the sink counter and was threatening to use all of them for other non tooth-related purposes. Are you kidding me, kid?!
Somehow with my mother-in-crisis-mode adrenal rush, I managed to catch him, save the toothbrushes from their imminent death in the big toilet, and get him settled in his booster seat with some graham crackers (AND A DIAPER) while I went to survey the original disaster zone. It was quite unsettling, but I knew in the back of my mind that it could have been much worse (my dear older son set a high bar for disgusting during his potty-training years…in public…while we were eating…but that’s a whole other story for a day when you have a stronger stomach).
Once I was done cleaning everything up, my mind immediately went to the Clorox commercial and I had to laugh because I knew it was just another
disturbing fascinating story from my ‘never-a-dull-moment’ life as a mother! Can’t wait to see what kind of “fun” my kids come up with next!