A Tired Mom’s Guide to Dressing Up For Halloween

I don't think so

I always enjoyed going trick or treating as a kid, but as I got older I was never that girl who had to dress up as a sexy nurse, or sexy kitty, or sexy garbage man, etc. (seriously, why are all adult female costumes labeled “sexy”?!  Isn’t it enough that I am sexy every other day of the year?!….ok, even I couldn’t type that without laughing, but seriously, I’m a mother and I don’t want to look like a hooker anymore!). However, now that I have 3 kids, I have learned that there higher expectations for my wardrobe if I am going to volunteer to help with class parties on Halloween.

Now, I am doing really good just getting all three kids into costumes without having a nervous breakdown, let alone getting myself into one, so what was I to do at the last second?!  Luckily, my creative “genius” worked out a master-plan in the 4 spare seconds I had this morning.  I will let you in on the secret so you can copy my idea for next year when you may find yourself in the same dire situation.

  • Step 1: Dig through your old t-shirt drawer until you find something that has some sort of inspirational design.  For my inspiration, I chose an old pirate t-shirt that I purchased from the little girl’s clearance section at Target (this was purchased at the last-minute a few weeks ago when I realized that you are also expected to dress up for your child’s pirate-themed birthday party).  So, I was going to be some sort of pirate.  Step 1 complete.

    Ahoy Mateys

  • Step 2: Dig through your child’s dress-up box to find anything that remotely resembles your inspirational theme.  Luckily for me, having just had the pirate party paid off and I found a bandana that I quickly wrapped around my head.  This part of my costume served two purposes – making me authentically piratey(ish) and covering up my horrific hair. Yes.  Step 2 complete.


  • Step 3: Frantically continue digging through the toy box to find one more accessory to complete your ensemble.  I chose to put on my son’s skull print belt.  This accessory was also dual purpose as it matched my head scarf and held my 10-year-old jeans up.  No one has to know that I barely got it buckled. Step 3 complete.  I am officially “Captain Mom” and I am awesome.

    Shiver Me Timbers

Moral of the story, even when you have no time or money (or interest), you can still throw something together thanks to all of the ‘useless’ stuff you buy your kids!  I knew our house wasn’t a whirlwind of never-ending toys for no reason! Now, get going because you only have 10 seconds to go get your costume together and there are no longer any excuses!  Happy Halloween! 🙂

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