The World of Competitive Eating

for the record, this is not my child, but he may be on the road to this

I know I have said it a million times, but I have a pretty big baby on my hands.  He’s not morbidly obese or anything, but for a kid who was born on the smaller side (6 lb, 6 oz), he is a beast!  In 8 months he has grown to be 3 1/2 times his birth weight.  I should have known something was up when he left the hospital weighing almost as much as he did when he was born.  If you have kids, you know that’s pretty much unheard of!  Babies usually lose weight while in the hospital and it usually takes a week or two for the weight to come back to what it was at birth.

I thought my oldest son was a line backer when he was born as he weighed 9 pounds (and for a mother who started out at 92 lbs pre-pregnancy, that’s a ridiculous weight for her newborn).  He stayed on the bigger side until he got mobile, but even he did not grow at the rapid rate of my youngest.  I am always amazed at what a hefty little man my baby is!  His thighs are almost as big as mine! I am exaggerating slightly, but to look at those chunky legs, it is possible to think that is a true statement. 

In all honesty, it appears as though he is just a cute little fatty who loves his food!  He is never done eating, whether it’s a bottle, baby food, or baby snacks.  He has not met a food he won’t eat, which is the total opposite of my other two!  And, after seeing him watch the 4th of July hotdog eating contest yesterday, I am convinced he wants to be a competitive eater.  His eyes never left that tv screen as he watched those strange people devour the soggy, disgusting pieces of meat.  You could see the envy in his eyes.  It would probably be tough for him to beat Joey “Jaws” Chestnut since he’s won the contest 5 years in a row, but I’m pretty sure he could take on “Pretty Boy” Pete, “Eater X” or “Deep Dish” Bertoletti with a vengeance. **For the record, I was rooting for “Deep Dish” yesterday, because I like his style**

He will have to wait to actually start consuming the adult version of these foods until he learns the professional methods those madmen use (or until he gets more teeth and the ability to chew without gagging), but if they were to have a baby food eating contest, he would wipe up the competition and take home the Gerber pureed peas belt (I’m assuming Gerber would sponsor this event)!  So, get ready “Jaws”, because come 2029, my boy “the Beast” will be there to finally take that mustard belt away from you….assuming that your insides haven’t exploded before then from your insane eating habits!


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