Feeling Blessed

I adore being a mother and I have always felt like I was destined for it.  There is simply nothing in the world like motherhood, especially with the outpouring of love that kids can give in spades.  But, there are days when my kids drive me absolutely insane and I am definitely capable of getting frustrated quickly, especially when it’s after a night where the baby hasn’t slept well (he is starting to get better but has still only slept through the night once in 8+ months so I tend to get exhausted most days – I am trying not to use that as an excuse, but I think it’s fair to say that could be a good explanation of my quicker temper).  I often feel guilty that I am not a more patient person and I really do try to work on it.   

Many times, my oldest child has the uncanny ability to sense when I am about to lose it and right at that precise moment he decides to see how far he can push me before I crack….and sometimes I do.  I freely admit it.  These moments of overload usually occur after watching another helping of a rerun on Sprout or trying to give my undivided attention to yet another pretend gameshow my son has made up that I just can’t quite comprehend (his intelligence and imagination, even at 5, far exceed mine).  I’m not above yelling or growling or making horribly ugly faces as I walk away to compose myself.  I’m not proud of this, but I’m human. 

Fortunately for me, what I lack in the area of patience, I usually can make up for in the area of humor and we never stay mad for long.  At the end of the day, there is always a hug and kiss goodnight, whether we are happy about it or not.  I would do anything for those little rugrats and I’m pretty sure they know it, even when they call me the meanest mommy in the world for not letting them have another cookie or for telling them ‘FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TURN OFF SPROUT!!!’ 

When they are finally asleep, looking deceivingly angelic, I thank God for those three glorious blessings.  Being a mother is the toughest job I have ever had and can be very overwhelming, but the rewards are greater than any employer could ever give.  There is nothing like hearing a spontaneous ‘I love you, mommy’ from one of your children.  My older two are now old enough to make me suspicious of their motives when they say this for no apparent reason, but the vast majority of the time, they really don’t want anything but a hug from me and that is one thing I can never give them enough of.  I am truly blessed, even during the hardest of times, and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way…..even as I hear the kids’ screaming from the other room.  Life should be this good for everyone.

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